bananas!

No, please...not my bananas!! As long-time reader(s) will know, my obsession (read: love) with bananas is long-standing. Below are some of my old blog posts detailing this love that dare speak its name.

(oh, and there's also this...perfectly legitimate and functional device...)

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munkeys R smrt (and other revelations)

I was raised a backwards banana boy, but now I'm reformed.

...

Let me clarify this. I have always opened my bananas by the stem, breaking the 'top' of the banana and peeling down. This was just the way it was done. It's the way I was taught, and by god it's the way it SHOULD be done!

Then, I found out that monkeys (and other banana-eaters of the non-human persuasion) open them from the 'bottom'. "Stoopid munkeys," I said to myself. But a creeping doubt began to settle on me. If there were such a thing as professional banana-openers, monkeys are it...and wouldn't they be uniquely qualified to know? What if they had it right, and what I had known my whole life was wrong? I had to know the truth.

So, near to trembling, I attempted this method for the first time this morning. Sure enough, the banana yielded with gentle ease to my peeling. And the stem even provided a better handle on the usually-slippery finish. I was floored. It was like a revelation! I had been eating bananas wrong my whole life!

Needless to say, my respect for all of monkeykind has increased from its already-giddy height. I have seen the error of my ways, and repent all of my prior banana-sins. Let this story be a beacon to all of you who have always suspected something was fundamentally wrong with your bananaways. See the light.

(In related news, it turns out that the 'Wash, Rinse, Repeat," instructions on shampoo are actually valid. As a test, wash your hair twice next time you're in the shower, but when you wash the first time, only use a very small amount of shampoo...like a dime, depending on how much hair you have...and then use a slightly larger amount on the second. You will notice a difference in how much lather you get, and how clean your head/hair feels. If you already knew this...why didn't you tell me?!?

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office politics (my food is sacred)

A haiku, to elaborate:

That is my butter,
Please do not touch my butter,
Or I will kill you.

I also adapted it for another food item of mine:

That's my banana,
Please don't touch my banana,
Or I will kill you.

You see what I did there? I used contractions to allow for the extra syllable in 'banana'. Smart, creative AND psychotic...killer combination! :) Beware my food-rage!

(fyi - I put a little extra bailey's in my office coffee today, so I'm feeling a little 'loose'...or tight, as people from The Great Gatsby would have called it.